


Stripclix

by sarkywoman



Category: X-Men (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-07-29
Updated: 2006-07-29
Packaged: 2017-11-18 17:32:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/563618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarkywoman/pseuds/sarkywoman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bobby and John play a friendly game of Heroclix, with the slight twist that they have to remove an item of clothing for every ko'd character.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stripclix

“Well, Drake?” John said with a cocky smirk as he sat down opposite Bobby at the kitchen table. “Ready to get your ass kicked?”

Bobby smiled condescendingly. “You’ve missed a lot in the time you’ve been gone, Johnny. I might surprise you.” Heroclix had been a hobby of theirs before John left and the company had started to make mutant models. It had always depressed Bobby to look at the little toys while John had been in the Brotherhood.

“I might have a few surprises up my sleeve too.” John pulled out ten miniature mutant figures and placed them at the edge of the paper mat.

Bobby shook his head despairingly at John’s set-up. “I’m not sure Professor Xavier would like that.”

“Well unless he’s gonna fork out the cash for me to get a decent Professor X piece, Magneto has to head up my team.” John set the Master of Magnetism down in the centre of his starting area.

“New Quicksilver?” Bobby asked as John placed the speedster piece down by his little plastic father.

“Yeah. One-hundred-and-five points of pure speed power.” He glanced over at Bobby’s goody-goody team. “You got any new ones?”

Bobby nodded as he set them up. “A few. Kitty, Iron Man, Unique Wolverine…”

John’s eyes widened and he snatched the little plastic Logan, examining it like a jeweller would a diamond. “A fucking unique Wolverine from the brand new Sinister series? Dude, when is Xavier gonna start giving me that kind of pocket money?”

“Maybe when you earn it, or when we’re sure you won’t use it to run away again.” This was, after all, John’s third return to the X-Men.

“Just because I’ve got a Brotherhood team set up,” John said, rolling his two orange dice and getting a total of five.

“They’re not all Brotherhood figures,” Bobby said as he rolled ten. “I go first then. I do nothing.”

“Fine, my brave mutant comrades will lead the advance.” John moved Gambit up to the space that signified a doorway. Bobby’s pieces stood at the opposite end of the map, inside a building.

“Gambit’s not Brotherhood,” Bobby pointed out as John moved Scarlet Witch up next to the model of the Cajun card flinger.

“No, but he’s cool,” John said, moving Avalanche towards the building.

“You think so?” Bobby ignored the slight irrational jealousy and said, “Maybe I should tell him. He thinks you’re cute.”

“What are you, twelve?” John moved his veteran Toad figure inside the building. Bobby smiled at John’s typical all-out attack strategy as the other boy moved Sabretooth up to Gambit and the Scarlet Witch. He really never learned.

“Five moves a turn,” Bobby said as John reached for Quicksilver.

“Oh, I’m done then. Mind if I put on some music?” He had his laptop on the kitchen counter.

“Go for it,” Bobby said, not taking his eyes off the heroclix map as John went and started playing System of a Down. “Right, my funky retro Rogue…”

“Wow, that is old,” John said, sitting back down and peering at the clumsy model. “The face on it is nearly as ugly as the real thing.”

“Shut up,” Bobby said with a glare. Just because he wasn’t dating her any more, didn’t mean he’d let John insult her. He returned his attention to the toys. “Rogue picks up Wolverine…”

“Jesus, she never stops, does she?” John said with a grin.

“John!” Bobby shouted, annoyed at the insinuations.

“Sorry, sorry.” But he didn’t look sorry at all. “Isn’t it weird that Rogue’s classed as Brotherhood?”

“I have an X-Man one as well,” Bobby said, waving the newer Rogue at John before returning to the game. “Anyway, Rogue picks up Wolverine and puts him in there. Then Iron Man…”

“I don’t like Iron Man. Why are you using an Iron Man?” John said with his eyes narrowed at the little model.

“I like Iron Man.” Bobby tried to remember his move. “Iron Man moves here and fires at Toad.”

“What?” John stood up and leant over the board to get a closer look. “No way can he see him already!”

“He can,” Bobby said with a grin. He rolled the dice. “And I’m perplexing up his damage to four. Hah!”

“You fucker,” John growled as he clicked Toad’s dial round four times. “You done?”

“Nope.” Bobby counted squares with his finger. “The great Iceman will now take Iron Man into that room.”

“Why Bobby,” John said in a surprised voice, “I never knew you had a thing for cyber-suits.”

“Shut up and make your move,” Bobby sighed.

“I’ve got an idea.” He waited for Bobby’s attention. “Stripclix. When one of your pieces is ko’d, you take off an item of clothing.”

“I don’t think so.” Another nefarious scheme of John’s to get him naked. Like that time he burned all his pants.

“Because you know you’ll end up naked,” John taunted.

“Hardly. I’ve won the last four games.” So maybe he could get John naked…

John moved Quicksilver his impressive thirteen squares. “That’s only because you have better pieces.”

Bobby watched him move Destiny up to Avalanche. “Sure it is. By the way, who’s Destiny?”

“Friend of Mystique,” John said, moving the blue shape shifter into the building. “Her piece should be naked. Clothes don’t suit her.”

“You sure you want to stand Pyro so far from Magneto? He might get scared.” Bobby grinned at John’s angry scowl.

“Fuck you.” John moved Magneto’s flight indicator to soaring level and predictably sent him into the building ahead of the little fiery Pyro model. “Your turn.”

“Storm fires lightning at Quicksilver.” Bobby rolled the dice. “Seven.”

“Hah, you miss!” John shouted happily. “He’s too fast.”

“Rogue fires at him.” He rolled the dice.

“Rogue? What the hell can she shoot?” John asked with confusion.

“Maybe she touched Storm,” Bobby suggested. “Doesn’t hit him anyway. Kitty’s going there,” he said, moving the little figure with her leg through a wall away from Quicksilver.

“My turn?” Bobby nodded to him. “Okay.” John moved Gambit, Toad, Avalanche, Scarlet Witch and Sabretooth into the building. 

Bobby stopped him from picking up Quicksilver. “You’ve made five moves.”

“Magneto attempts leadership to increase my movement allowance then.” John picked up one dice.

“Fine. A four, five or six gets you another move.” But he couldn’t move Quicksilver again since he’d moved him last turn anyway. Bobby decided to keep that quiet for now, so he could say it when it would most annoy John.

John rolled a one. “Fuck! Wanda uses probability control.” That allowed the player to attempt dice rolls again once for every figure that had the ability. He rolled again. Three. “Fuck!”

“Doesn’t matter anyway,” Bobby said as he rolled two dice for an attack. “You’d moved Quicksilver last turn so you couldn’t move him again this turn without hurting him.”

John sighed, then noticed Bobby’s move. “Hey, did the ‘great Iceman’” tangible sarcasm, “just miss Sabretooth? That’s pretty lame.”

“Shut up.” Bobby moved Iron Man and lowered him from soaring level to hovering level. “Iron man fires and makes his damage four…”

“He’d just be a worthless human without that suit.” John muttered bitterly.

“He’d be a genius John,” Bobby said reproachfully as he rolled the dice. “A genius who’s just whooped Sabretooth’s hairy ass.”

“Don’t go there,” John said with a grossed out expression, clicking Sabretooth’s base.

“And now,” Bobby put on a wrestling announcer’s voice, “a long overdue tussle between Wolverine and his arch enemy, Sabretooth!” Bobby moved his unique Wolverine up to Sabretooth. He’d better be worth the money. “Oh yeah, you’re owned!” Bobby started punching his arms out in front of him, the dice on the table adding to nine, which when added to Wolverine’s attack value, was higher than Sabretooth’s defence. 

“Hardly,” John said, dealing the damage and putting the piece back in its square. “And can you stop doing that dorky dance? It’s not over yet. You haven’t even ko’d anyone.”

“Give it time, Johnny boy.” John’s denial was what made the game worth playing. Otherwise it would just be Bobby slaughtering pieces indiscriminately while John watched hopelessly and that would only be half as fun. “Your turn.”

“What, your all-powerful Rogue not moving this turn?” John sneered.

“No. Come on.” John took this way too personally. Maybe playing with models of themselves was asking for it, though.

“Fine.” John examined each of Bobby’s figures before picking up Quicksilver. “Quicksilver attacks Storm.”

“She’s flying, John.” He never paid attention.

“Is she?” John peered closer at the weather witch’s base. “Oh. Well I guess he can’t reach then. Okay, he attacks Logan.” He moved the speedster three squares and rolled the dice. “Oh yeah, success!”

Bobby winced, but it was because he was going to have to burst John’s bubble. “Actually, Logan has the impervious defence ability. Quicksilver’s too weak to do any damage to him.”

“Doesn’t he?” John’s face fell. “Fuck. Okay, I’ll hit him again with a hypersonic speed attack. That’ll hurt him more for every hit.” He rolled. “Yeah! And again? Damn. Wanda re-rolls the one. Yes! One more? Alright! Can I do it again? Fuck. Does that mean you take six clicks then I take one?”

“Yeah,” Bobby grinned. “A double one means Quicksilver tripped over himself and takes damage. Now if I roll a five or six, Logan will resist all damage.”

“What?!?” John checked the skill list by the side of the map and seethed.

“What do you expect? It’s Logan.” Bobby rolled a four. “Damn it.”

John smiled as they clicked the damage onto their figures. “It’s just as well really. I would’ve melted your Wolverine if he’d resisted all that. Now Magneto finishes him off.” He rolled a seven. “Adamantium man, meet Master of Magnetism.”

Bobby rolled his eyes as he clicked his cool Wolverine model to ‘ko’. “You’re a complete fan boy John, you know that?”

John shrugged. “Whatever. Now take it off.”

“Excuse me?” Bobby raised an eyebrow.

“Stripclix, remember? I took out Logan, now you take off your clothes.” Bobby shrugged. He was wearing more than John anyway. He took off his silver cross chain.

John sighed and shook his head. “Fine.” John moved his Pyro, Mystique and Destiny into the building, closer to Bobby’s figures. “You’ll be naked soon enough,” he leered.

Bobby ignored John’s blatant flirting. He was probably just mucking around. “Rogue charges into Toad.” He rolled. “Three clicks. Your first casualty of war.”

John clicked the little figure to ‘ko’ then, to Bobby’s surprise, stood up and removed his trousers. They sat in silence for a minute, Bobby staring and John smirking. “What?”

“Just thinking that maybe we should have played in our room instead of the kitchen.” Bobby rolled for Storm’s attack. “Oh man, double one?”

John started laughing. “Storm just zapped herself with a lightning bolt!”

Bobby sighed and clicked down the damage. “Then Kitty moves here and Rogue moves here.”

“My turn. And don’t worry about anyone seeing your inevitably naked body. Nobody’ll come in here at 2am. Right then. Sabretooth tries to regenerate after your vicious and unnecessary attack. Manages two clicks of healing. Scarlet Witch and Avalanche move there. Now Mystique attacks Rogue. The ugly, realistic one I mean.” Bobby didn’t rise to the bait. It was probably just jealousy talking. John had never really got over the way Bobby had chosen her company over his. “Oh yeah, I’m raising up her damage to three using her perplex ability.”

“You have to say that before you attack,” Bobby said, preparing to reach for the rule book.

“Well I’m saying it now,” John said aggressively.

“Then it doesn’t work! It’s the rules, John!” They glared at each other.

The words were on the top of his tongue, ‘do you always do as you’re told?’ But it would be petty and they were having fun. “Fine, two clicks on Rogue.”

“Okay, my turn now. Cool little ice-sliding Iceman fires at Sabretooth.” He rolled. “Double six! About time!” John scowled at him as he clicked the figure to ‘ko’. “That’s four damage because Iceman is a ranged combat expert, baby!”

John raised an eyebrow. “Baby? I’m getting naked here,” he pulled off his t-shirt to reveal his toned chest, “and you’re giving me pet-names? A guy could get the wrong idea.”

Bobby felt his cheeks heat and he looked back at their toys. “Uh… Iron Man perplexes up his damage and shoots at Gambit. That’s four clicks, John. Then your turn.”

There was something distracting about playing John when the pyromaniac was only wearing his socks and boxer shorts. “Quicksilver attacks the ugly Rogue. I mean the model.”

“Very funny John,” Bobby said sarcastically.

“He hits and does two damage.” John watched Bobby click the dial eagerly. “She dead yet?”

“No.” Bobby put her back in her square.

“Why won’t Rogue die!?!” John looked up. “Oh, Marie, hi.” The girl gave a small, scared smile then backed out of the kitchen.

“We should have played upstairs,” Bobby said, trying to keep his eyes off of John’s half-naked body. 

John had attacked with Gambit and missed. “Wanda changes probability so…”

“She can’t see Gambit so she can’t change things,” Bobby pointed out.

“Fuck. He misses then. Um…” John bit at his lower lip thoughtfully. Bobby stared and tried to convince himself he was still straight. “Pyro can’t see anyone from there either. Um… Magneto can see her! She will die!”

“What are you kids talking about?” Logan walked into the kitchen, frowning at John’s state of undress. 

“Magneto is murdering Rogue.” John rolled dice and let out a maniacal laugh as Bobby took the piece from the board then removed his expensive shoes. 

Logan picked up the Wolverine figure and pressed at the little plastic silver claws. “What is this?”

“That is a little representation of you, Logan,” Bobby said, smiling at Logan’s horrified expression.

“I would never wear yellow.” The little figure had a yellow costume on. It looked very retro.

“I have one where you’re in jeans and a t-shirt, but this one’s a better piece.” Bobby started fishing through his heroclix box for the promotional Wolverine figure he possessed.

“Hello!” John shouted. “It’s your turn, Drake, pay attention.”

“Right, sorry.” Logan grunted and left them to their game. “Rogue punches Destiny.”

“Destiny uses her super senses.” John rolled. “Oh yeah, she avoids the attack, you suck.”

“Storm attacks Destiny. Another critical and she’s a ranged combat expert. You’re going to die, John,” Bobby said in a sing-song voice.

“Super-senses!” John rolled a five. “Dodged again! You still suck!” John waggled a finger in Bobby’s face. “I will get you naked.”

Bobby picked up the little Shadowcat figure, ignoring John’s taunt. “Kitty moves up to help fight Destiny. Your turn.”

“Avalanche attacks that retarded blue piece,” John pointed at the model he was talking about.

“Hey!” Bobby shouted indignantly. “That’s me!”

“Is it?” John’s expression was feigned innocence. “Well he misses, so Wanda changes the dice. Now he…still doesn’t hit. For fuck’s sake. Mystique shoots that gun at Iceman.”

“Why are you trying to kill me?” Bobby asked as his miniature representative was bullied.

“Point of the game, Bobby.” John rolled. “Fuck! Why does my team suck?” He moved Scarlet Witch over between Shadowcat and Rogue.” Silly impatient John. “Your go.”

“Okay. Iceman attacks Avalanche with his killer ice shards. Ha, ten. That’s three damage. He dead yet?” Avalanche was a pretty poor figure.

“Nah. He’s crap but he’s got a couple of hits left.” John placed the rock thrower back on the map.

“Iron Man hits Gambit, perplexing his damage up to four.” Bobby smiled as John’s ‘cool’ Gambit was damaged critically.

“You bastard!” John put Gambit by the other ko’d figures. “Now, what should I take off next?” John started pulling on the waistband of his boxers. Bobby couldn’t look away. “My left sock, I think.”

Bobby started breathing again as John threw his sock onto the small pile of clothing. He was such a tease. “It’s your turn.”

“Already? Good. The amazing Pyro, god of flame, attacks Storm with a volley of fiery fury.” He rolled. “Three clicks, since you’re not the only expert at ranged combat here.” Bobby shrugged and gave Storm the damage. “Now Magneto’s moving in. Flee, worthless pawns of Xavier!” He stopped when he saw Bobby’s stare. “What?” When Bobby said nothing, John just continued his moves. “Scarlet Witch attacks Rogue.”

“Why do you have it in for her?” Bobby asked without thinking.

“You know why. Fuck, missed. Probability control. Fuck! Still missed! Destiny changes Wanda’s dice. FUCK!” John thumped the table as he missed again. “Never mind, Quicksilver will take her out.”

“Hey, didn’t Scarlet Witch move last turn anyway?” Bobby said, trying to remember.

“Uh…yeah. Oops. We’ll pretend I didn’t move her this turn. Not like she did anything productive anyway.” John’s rule adjustments were probably the reason he didn’t play tournaments. “Quicksilver attacks Rogue. Success! Hypersonic speed attack… fuck. Scarlet Witch re-rolls for him.”

“You already used that, remember?” It was a test of observation, playing with John.

“But we’re pretending I didn’t use her this turn, so I’m using that power again.” John picked up the dice.

Bobby sighed. “Cheater.”

“Virgin.” John re-rolled and still didn‘t obtain the result he was after. Cursing ensued. “Fuck everything! Destiny attacks Rogue. Fuck.”

“Even if you had hit, Destiny doesn’t do any damage. To anyone.” Bobby admired the optimism in attacking with someone who required a double six to hurt their opponent.

“Desperate times, Bobby. I’m in my boxers and one sock.” Suddenly, John’s eyes lit up. “Magneto! He attacks Rogue!” He rolled the two dice. “Yes! Just call him Rogue-killer.”

“She’d not dead yet, moron,” Bobby said, clicking the damage onto the little figure of his ex-girlfriend.

“Whatever. She will be,” John promised. “Your turn.”

“Storm attacks Scarlet Witch.” Bobby rolled. “Missed. Kitty attacks Scarlet Witch.”

“She changes your dice roll. Roll again.” Bobby sighed and did so.

“Damn you and your probability-controlling ways. Still hits though.” He rolled for another person’s attack. “Rogue hits Scarlet Witch, just about.”

“She’s still alive and now she’s gonna whoop your ass.” He rolled. “Missed. Probability control?” He rolled again. “Missed again. Unbe-fucking-lievable. Avalanche attacks Iceman. Oh, this is not going well.”

“What did you expect?” Bobby asked. “You needed an eleven.”

John ignored him. “Mystique attacks. Oh for the love of…” he put the dice in Bobby’s hand.

“The ever-brilliant Iceman finishes off that pesky Avalanche.” Bobby grinned. Time for strippage. “So what’s it to be, John?”

“My other sock of course,” John muttered irritably as he ripped it off his foot.

“Don’t get grumpy. It was your idea to involve stripping in the first place.” He assumed what John called his ‘moral high ground pose’. “It’ll teach you not to be so cocky.”

“I could still win,” John protested.

“I doubt it. Iron Man attacks Mystique.” Bobby rolled then his ego deflated. “I don’t believe it! He missed!”

“Oh yeah! Time for my comeback!” John rolled low. “No way is Quicksilver missing. Destiny rolls his dice again. Aw, this isn’t fair! Magneto attacks. Ha, that’s what I’m talking about! Three clicks to Rogue, Bob-boy. She dead yet?”

“No, stop asking. I’ll take her off the board when she’s dead.” John’s hatred of Rogue would probably ensure her demise in the course of the game.

“Destiny hits her then.” John rolled, but didn’t look surprised when he missed.

“Did you really think you would roll a fourteen on two dice?” Bobby asked.

“Well…no. But a twelve would have automatically hurt you. Since I didn’t get it, Pyro will attack Rogue. Missed? How? How could I miss her?” He looked appalled.

He looked so upset in fact that Bobby patted him on the shoulder. “There, there. I’m sure he’ll fry her next turn.”

“Damn straight he will,” John growled, “or I’m melting the fucking piece.”

“Rogue steals Scarlet Witch’s life-force, killing her and healing herself.” John put Scarlet Witch with the other fallen models. 

“Fucking parasite.” John said, not looking at Bobby.

“So.” John had to remove another item of clothing.

“Yeah.” He was only wearing his boxers, though.

“Um…” Could he really demand that John finish the game naked?

“I’ve gotta take off my underpants now.” John fidgeted with the waistband, the cockiness of before gone.

“Tell you what, it can wait until you lose.” Bobby was feeling charitable. It came with always winning.

“You mean if I lose.” Such adorable denial.

“Which you will.” Bobby didn’t want him to say he hadn’t been warned.

“Whatever. Just play.” Bobby grinned at John’s stubborn nature.

“Storm attacks Destiny.” He rolled an eight.

“Destiny rolls super senses. Fails. Uses probability control to roll again. One? Fuck. How much damage?” John prepared to click on the damage.

“Just one.” Storm had been weakened to a point where she barely caused any damage at all.

“Phew. Anymore moves?” John looked nervous now.

“Shadowcat attacks Destiny.” Bobby rolled the dice. Attacking was not Kitty’s strong point, she was primarily a defensive piece.

“Destiny rolls for super senses…yes! Avoided the attack. My turn.” It was nice to see John so anxious at his backfiring plot to get Bobby naked. “Mystique raises her own damage and attacks Iron Man. Fuck. I use probability control…”

“You used it,” Bobby interrupted. John always lost track of his own moves. “My turn?”

John sighed and chucked the dice at the table in a strop. “Yeah.”

“The Indomitable Iceman hits Mystique for three. Iron Man finished her off.” Bobby handed the dice back to John. “Hope those pants aren’t too comfortable.”

“Quicksilver attacks Rogue.” He smiled with grim satisfaction as he caused a click of damage. “He tries to hit her again using hypersonic speed. That’s three clicks. Again? Oh yes, six clicks. I’ll stop there. She must be dead now, right?”

“Yes, she’s down.” Bobby started unbuttoning his shirt as John did a small victory dance. “Anymore moves?”

“Hmm?” John was staring hungrily at Bobby’s chest as Bobby folded his shirt neatly and put it down by his feet. 

“The game, John?” Bobby couldn’t help but feel warm inside with the way John was staring.

“Oh, right. Yeah. Uh… Magneto kills Storm.” His roll confirmed it.

“Damn, there go my socks.” John’s disappointment was obvious when Bobby kept his trousers on. “My turn?” John nodded. “Right then. Kitty attacks Destiny”

“Super senses.” John rolled one dice. “Aw, three.”

Bobby clicked the dial round for him. “Ha, she’s lost super senses and probability control. Your turn.”

“I moved all the pieces I have left last turn. I can’t do anything this turn unless I damage them. I guess…” John hesitated. “Now Destiny’s useless I can waste her on trying to score a critical hit.”

“That’s cruel,” Bobby said.

“That’s war.” John rolled a six and a three rather than the two sixes he needed. Almost. But now she’s dead for moving too much. Your turn.”

Bobby made a difficult decision. “Iron Man flies out and shoots Pyro.”

“No!” John cried out. “Not Pyro!”

“Four clicks John, sorry.” John’s glare burned him as he turned the little orange and red model. “Now Iceman attacks Magneto. Hits for three.”

“That would never happen,” John snapped. He was such a sore loser. “Now Quicksilver attacks Iron Man. Fuck. Missed. Magneto attacks him.” He rolled. “What? He missed? But it’s Iron Man! Magneto should be able to crush him!”

“Sorry,” Bobby said with a sheepish smile. “Kitty moves over to Quicksilver.”

“Pyro shoots her. Fuck!”

“You needed a thirteen on two dice to hit her, John. The X-Men have sufficiently neutralised the threat you posed.” Bobby grinned and wondered when John would notice the parallels between the game and their real lives.

“Just shut up and annihilate me already.” Blind old Optimism had apparently died.

“Iceman attacks and misses Magneto…” That was irritating.

“Ha, you suck.” John pushed over the Iceman figure.

Bobby picked up the figure again. “Iron Man hits Quicksilver.”

“Well Quicksilver… misses him. This is getting old. Come on, Magneto.” He rolled. His face fell. “Double one. He fucking hit himself in the face.”

“That’s bad luck,” Bobby said sympathetically while doing an inner victory dance. “Kitty hits Quicksilver.” Oh dear. “Uh… he’s dead too, John.” 

To his credit, John didn’t explode in a fit of rage, just nodded calmly and removed the speedster from play. “Magneto attacks Iron Man. Misses.”

“Iceman attacks Magneto. Hits for three. Iron Man attacks and kills him.” Bobby watched with a stupid pang of jealousy as John carefully, almost reverently, removed Magneto from the board.

“Pyro attacks Iron Man.” He sighed. “Misses.” Pyro was John’s only piece now, and he had been weakened to almost a useless level.

“I push Iron Man to attack Kitty.” Bobby ignored John’s raised eyebrow. “I miss and take a click of fatigue for moving him twice in a row. Kitty moves over to Iron Man. Iceman moves out of the room and into the centre of the battlefield.”

“I still don’t get why Iceman can fly,” John said, not asking the more obvious question.

“Ice slopes,” Bobby said. He could only just about make them and he wouldn’t risk using them for any lengthy period of time.

“Right.” John still wasn’t asking why Bobby was attacking his own pieces.

“Kitty attacks Iron Man. Nope. Iceman attacks Kitty. No.”

“She’s a tricky bitch, isn’t she? Pyro attacks her and misses.”

“Iron Man attacks her again. Misses. I push Kitty to attack Iron Man. She misses and takes one click of fatigue.”

“May I ask why you’re helping me decimate your own troops?”

“Felt like it. Maybe I’m not ready to see you fully naked.” Hopefully John wouldn’t see what a blatant lie that was. “Iron Man attacks Kitty. Hits! Iceman misses Iron Man.”

“Pyro attacks using energy explosion. It hits Kitty.”

“Kitty misses Iron Man.”

“I don’t need your pity.”

“It’s not pity. Iceman attacks Iron Man. Critical! Iceman rocks! Kitty attacks Iron Man. Misses and takes a click of fatigue. Iron Man attacks her. Misses.”

“Pyro attacks Iron Man. Misses.”

“Iron Man attacks Kitty again. Hits. She’s dead and he takes a click of fatigue.”

“I’ve lost track of sides.”

“Iceman attacks Iron Man. Hits for three! He’s dead.”

“So,” John looked at the board, “just me and you.”

“Your piece is hurt,” Bobby said.

“He attacks.” John rolled the dice and sighed. “Misses.”

Bobby moved Iceman over to Pyro. “I’ve rescued you from everyone.”

John frowned. “Didn’t realise we were playing that way.”

“It’s more lifelike if I don’t tell you until the end.”

“Oh. Do I still have to take my pants off?”

Bobby hesitated briefly, then threw caution to the wind. “We could always finish their battle in our room…”

John laughed as they packed away the pieces. “And here I was thinking I’d had an unlucky game.”


End file.
